Don’t be a victim!

By Erik Farstad

March 11, 1998

"...but the righteous will live by his faith." Habakkuk 2:4

A reader asks: What do you feel others contribute to your personal sphere of existence?

Throughout my entire life other people have contributed to who I am, what I believe and how I live. This contribution will no doubt continue until the day I die. Other people’s lives, words and actions effect me as much as I choose them to! I do not believe anyone can blame an experience, person or action for "the way they are." That is why I stand on the belief that no matter what your past, present or future circumstances, anyone can change with God’s help. If I seem to be running away with a particular issue, I am. I feel we, as a society, have become people of "victims" wanting to blame others for who or why we are the way we are!

Do others force you to eat, to sleep or breath? No. So why can others be responsible for what you believe, how you treat others and live your life? Well, I don’t think they can. Society is blaming racism, the media, the government, you name it, for "the way" people are today. I say, stand up! Yes, you can choose to allow these and many other things to contribute to your personal sphere of existence. Or you can choose to be who you were created to be, a child of God. A child of God, following the direction of Christ, desires to live with righteousness. If you say it, it was you. If you think it, it was you. If you believe it, it was you. Don’t tell me someone made you this or that way, you chose it. We have the choice, God gave it to us.

OK, so perhaps I got off the track of the original question, but I feel the "victim mentality" too important to leave undisclosed. Many people blame things or people for their beliefs and lifestyles, to that I say this...don’t let their mistakes be yours! Let me share the following with you:

I grew up in what we love to call a "broken home." My parents divorced and mom had to take care of my sister and me. For thirteen years of my life my mom had cancer, before she ultimately died when I was sixteen. But before her death I got to experience puberty with an angry step-father, where I learned how to hate, yell and fight. During this time I tried to get to know my dad’s new family, a step-mother, two step-brothers and a half-sister. In my dad’s own words, "Erik, I’m afraid your heart is slowly turning to stone with all this anger and hate. You’re a kid, you shouldn’t have these things."

Given my life and experiences, those around me, how and who should I be today? A angry person, hating marriage/divorce, full of rage wondering why my mother died? I could be and might have been, if I had not accepted the gift of Jesus Christ into my life. You see, as humans we are limited to what we can see and experience around us. We see the pain, hatred and anger and think that is what life is. So we struggle to live amongst this hurt, while trying to be good and right. I ask you how can you live and be, what you desire which is all goodness and righteousness, without God the maker of these things? You can’t. Without God, you will slowly conform to the "ways of the world" to "those around you," for you have no other guide to direct you.

I realize this may not be a popular message. But ask yourself this question, "Who can I look to, emulate and copy, that is perfect, loving and kind?" There is only one answer, Jesus.

Wow, I’ve really gone off on this one. OK, specifically how do people around me affect who I am. Well, for instance by asking me these questions, I am challenged to grow and sharpen my knowledge and beliefs. When someone brings up a new point, way of thought or idea, I am challenged to change or review my own life. God has created us all to share our knowledge and abilities with one another, that is what is so fascinating about people. There are no two people who are identical. God created differences for a purpose, to show His love for each one of you. Your uniqueness is God’s way of saying, "You are so special to me, there will be none like you!" God desires us to share our personal spheres of existence with one another, because in doing so we will see more of His glory and beautiful creation.

I realize I went all over the place in this devotional. When I get excited about a topic I usually do. Please contact me with your further questions or comments as to anything I said.

To summarize:

You have a choice as to who, how and why you live the way you do. You can’t blame someone, a thing or an action for your life. If you do, you’re a victim of self pity. If you desire to be different than the world, give your life to Christ. Don’t you want Him to be the biggest influence in your life?

In Him, "E"